I was stalking my dear Tim this morning, and decided to write him a letter. (Our friendship is based off of mutual stalking and we're very open about it.) It was just supposed to be a light-hearted fun, "how are you?" sort of letter, but it became a letter in which I had a breakthrough.
I was telling him about a blog post that made me laugh, and that led me to another thought.
"On a more serious note however, I remembered your curiosity and just overall wonder for life. You were always talking about the things that you knew how to do, but always expressing interest for things that you’d like to learn how to do. That is so cool to me. I think we need more people like that - because it shows progression. In whatever state we’re in - or whatever state we’re talking about; mental, spiritual, etc. - we all need to progress. Even if we think we’re the cat’s freakin pajamas, there’s always another level of ourselves that we are able to reach; and it’s good to work hard in life to get to that place.
As I haven’t been able to find work this off-track break, this is something that I realized this week. While I’d love to work so I can be financially independent and contribute to my education - obviously the Lord has something else in mind for me. Until I figure out what that is, I think I need to work on me. (Narcissism 4eVaH.)
I’m working on trying to have a healthier body, and learning how to take care of it properly. I’m trying to learn how to be a peacemaker in my home, (let’s face it, my brothers might actually kill each other one day.) and how to promote a sense of happiness and kindness at home in general. I’d like to grow closer to the Lord, as always. It’s always apparent that He is blessing me - sometimes it just takes a minute for me to figure out what that might be. I’m working on appreciating the things that have happened, but to stop living in the past and appreciate the present. (I’m really bad at this.) In my patriarchal blessing, it says how I have the ability to “be a woman who’s example is beyond reproach.” I think I’d like to work on that as well. I watched Gone With the Wind for the first time last night, and there’s a girl named Melanie, and she’s an actual saint. She never heard a bad word about anyone, and she was always so kind, patient, and understanding. So I’ll pretty much model my character after her to help me reach that potential blessing.
This is all I can think of at the moment. In the past off-tracks, I always felt like I was stuck in a rut for three months and everything about me was lacking. My life isn’t up at school. My progression and learning doesn’t all happen at school. It’s every day. These three months can be so beneficial because I’ll actually have time to devote to learning and improving.
In summation: you’re wonderful. Thank you for unintentionally inspiring me and leading me to this breakthrough."
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