Sweet Disposition

(On the way to Madisen's house.)

I was at a friend's house last night because I'm trying to get to know them better and expand my nonexistent social circle, and we were watching a tv show. We watched three episodes, which was roughly 2.5 hours. And I went home, real mad at myself because of the amount of time I spent doing nothing.

 At the time, I justified it because I was "spending time with friends," but there wasn't a ton of socializing - we were gathered around a screen. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good movie or show from time to time, and this is what a lot of my friends want to do when we hang out. 

I've been thinking a lot lately...thinking about the way I spend my time, and how intentional I want to be. There are things I want to do. There are hobbies and talents I'd like to develop. And now that I'm done with school, I have less time than ever, but more and more things I'd like to improve at - stuff like music and art and writing and whatnot.

So I don't really know what I'm saying. Am I criticizing the way people my age enjoy bonding with each other nowadays? Am I advocating for alone time? Do I just wish I was surrounded by people who like doing all of the same things I do? I dunno.

All I'm sure of is that I think that I want my hobbies to start aligning with my ambitions. I know that the job I have is alright for now, but I don't want to be a receptionist forever. I can't stop all of these creative inclinations raging inside me, so I need a new dream - a new goal to wake up every morning and help me realize that hard work is worth it.