Sweet Disposition

I've never welcomed age with grace. Even since I was young, I remember aging was always the constant thing in my life that was met with the most resistance. When I physically arrive at the stage I need to be in life, I don't want to let go. I don't want to move on because I always feel like I'm a different age mentally.
These insecurities probably have a lot to do with my other problem of not being able to enjoy the present, but I haven't sat down to think about the correlation yet. Maybe it's obvious to you, but I'm always questioning myself.

I suppose this brings me to my next thought. I'm working on some plans that would require me to let go and start something new, and I was scared.
I texted Kelsi asking her, "...Should we sort of...resign to a different life for ourselves so we can be with the ones we love? Or go forward hoping there will be something better once we get there?"

And Kelsi, being the wise lady she is, answered with this advice:

"I think the whole point of life is to keep moving forward. The people you love are still going to be there if you go after what you want. If you don't, you'll be stuck doing the same thing forever and you won't learn anything or experience the things you need to. And besides, the people you love have to move on too."

I know in the back of my mind that these are all truths, but she knows just what to say when I need some reassurance. The one thing that she did point out though, is that the people I love need to move on as well.
I forgot about that, when really, I inch closer and closer to that reality each day. Kelsi's not going to be there spring semester (as of right now), Brianne's putting her availability date on her mission papers in August, as well as Bennett. Madisen's going to be gone in a few weeks. Chad's coming home in August and who knows what will happen with him and Kelsi. Brother Samuelson isn't teaching his class that I've T.A.'d for, and Brother Brown might be leaving school soon to go work somewhere else.
There are these people that I want to be in my life forever, but that isn't always the case, and that really upsets me. I'll always stay in contact with them, but things are never going to be in the ideal situation that I want them to be in. I am always learning how to come to terms with that.
I guess I just need to take comfort in the fact that things are easier than ever to keep in touch. Email, texting, blogs, instagram, facebook. Planes, cars, buses. And I need to remember that they will move on too. They can't stick around for me and I wouldn't want them, if they truly wanted to go and achieve their goals. I wouldn't want to be the one to prevent them from being happy.
So I need to allow myself to do the same.