Sweet Disposition

I have a ton to catch up on, but I wanted to say this: it's my birthday tomorrow, and I turn 23.  

This is a strange thought. Mostly it's because I thought I would feel older, but now I understand what my uncle means when he writes, "Happy birthday! Now you're almost as old as me!" on a card every year. 

I wanted to make some sort of record of being 22, because this might have been the craziest year yet. 

1. I graduated college with a degree that I wasn't totally miserable about/didn't fill me with unsatisfying regret, AND I didn't end up in the hospital once due to a hernia or malnutrition. Then two weeks later, I got an email from school saying that I was three credits short, and I would have to take an online class. 

That news almost put me in a hospital. 

Hooray for class of (December) 2014.

2. I survived the first year of being without Brianne, the light of my life, while she is on her mission. Madisen was gone too, and I said goodbye to two more friends because of missions. Kelsi got engaged and that was harder than I thought it would ever be to deal with. But here I am today, a little bit better at being alone than I used to be. (At least, I'm crying about it less. I feel like that part is worth mentioning.)

3. It was only a little bit, but I did some traveling this year. Last year it was San Francisco with Brianne, and this year it was Portland with Chris for Kelsi's wedding. I wonder where next year will take me?

4. I moved back home to California. Then I moved to Utah. This move was maybe one of the top three most spontaneous things I've ever done. As I was driving home from work yesterday, I was thinking about this. Do I feel like a Utah resident yet? I think the honest answer is no. 

I still respond (mouth agape) with a, "at my old school, we never...." when someone tells me shorts are allowed on BYU's campus. But I spent my whole life in California and then the past four years in Idaho, and those two hold very special places in my heart, so I excuse myself of this annoying behavior.

5. I got a poem published in Sonoma State's magazine. And I didn't let anyone read it because there was a flippant line dedicated to my Relief Society president who lived downstairs at the time that I wrote it. It said the word "Hell," thereby confirming the fact that I am not a perfect person, but instead, a passive-agressive person. Thank you Garrett Sherwood, for introducing me to the world of slam poetry. And thank you, Jim Richards, for making me submit your poetry as your T.A., and consequently teaching me about how to submit my own stuff.

6. I got pulled over for the first time ever, for speeding home from Shari's (this is Idaho equivalent of Denny's, only with better pie). I'm glad I had a car full of friends with me, otherwise I might have cried. In fact, I would have.

7. I had a job at Zupa's. And then I quit after two weeks and got my current job. Utah's "free to quit suddenly without notice" rule is the best and the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I got my first credit card (something that I hate/fills me with anxiety) and started paying my own rent and groceries and other terribly adult things. I make up for this by listening to Disney soundtracks on the way to work.

8. My hair caught on fire. (Did I tell you?) This is about as horrifying as it sounds, and smells twice as bad as you would think. My bangs are about two inches long and I just pretend that I'm punk rock and gutsy enough to get a weird choppy haircut like that.

9. I bought guinea pigs so I would have living things that depended on me for life. The goal was to help me feel less lonely after I got here, but more than anything, they gave me crazy anxiety. And really bad allergy reactions. I only had them for a week, and I only just told my mom about it.

10. I started doing the things that I love again, like drawing and reading and music things. In the last few weeks, I've even started writing some of my own stuff, which is something that I've never had the confidence to do in the past.

I'm still working on learning how to spend my time wisely so I could accomplish everything that I want to do, while simultaneously telling myself to chill out and have some unscheduled, unstructured time to do nothing. Included with this should be the idea or the hope that getting back into these would help me figure out what I want to do my life and get me on that path. (Stay tuned.)

11. I was called to be a temple prep teacher earlier this year at church. This was completely bizarre to me because I had never gone through the temple, and had no immediate plans to. There were a few lessons where I was generous to release the class a few minutes early. (This is really because I ran out of things to talk about.) But over the summer, I felt that I should start preparing to go through the temple. I don't have a date picked yet, but it will be happening in the next few months.

12. I made a Christmas cover cd. It was really fun and I loved putting it together. I'm going to redo it again now that I know what I'm getting myself into so it will sound better, but I'm going to add a few songs to it, I think. If I have the time.

I know there are probably a ton of things that I am forgetting about, but I feel like everyone should take inventory of their year, just to see where you've been and who you've become.

It's been a wild ride.