Sweet Disposition

(This is not supposed to be significant to anyone or even good, for that matter, but I need to start writing again.)

if you are ever landlocked,

and somehow far from the wide and endless ocean

hazy purple mountains around dusk

might be a good

short term

replacement

for we go there to ponder

and remember

and anticipate

what has yet to come

An abundance of secrets 

spilled off the cliffs

into that ocean

buoying trust

in the eye of the storm

but as I sit here

watching the sun go down behind the mountains

with a hazy pale pink backdrop

I can sit here and ponder

and remember 

and anticipate

what is in the present

such a beautiful moment that ought to be shared

In a moment of vulnerability, 

I think about talking to someone who might understand

who might relay some good advice

but I realize that sooner or later

I will need to learn to stand on two feet

for they will not always be near

doubt plagues my mind

and I am overcome with a sense of panic

do I have the knowledge, the resources,

the courage?

can I stimulate change

to be a catalyst for all things good in life

though I stand

alone? 

I wish I could be at the ocean

to reach down and drink the secrets

of all those who came before me

to feel it in each vein

in each cell

so I can be filled with an omnipotent wisdom

that can only be described by that which is divine

But sitting here

looking forward

I will feel the earth under my feet

and know the pain and sorrow of those 

who have walked alone 

in the face of a difficult world

"know
that you can draw strength
from those purple mountains

and know

that it will not be an easy journey

but tomorrow

you will move them"